So today I finally walked to the one local bike shop in Hyde Park to fix my bike so that I can enjoy one last summer biking on the Chicago lakefront. On the way there, I noticed new, government issued signs shelving out the rule for dog poop in the city: don’t dare leave in on the ground, or else you may be fined. Ok. America, given it is land of the free, land of the rule, this is unremarkable and I agree, scattered dog poop, especially in burningly hot chicago summer, is .. gross. But the fine range was somewhat more remarkable. According to the sign you can be fined between 50-500 US dollars for the first offense. Who could not but ask: what would induce the larger fine? More dog poop? An especially large dog who dumps an especially large dump? Do little poodles, being the “refined” dogs, get less of a fine than some ugly mongrel with one or two benign tumors and scabies? I imagine puppy owners get off easier than the owner of some middle age lab? Does the judge or the issuing officer decide on the fine price? Did they include the range to take into account inflation?