This little piggy was given the bottle and rocket-launched to space.

So last year as I entered the job market, I posted less “personal” blog entries and have more or less kept with the tradition except with the occasional post, especially when it concerns my mom. Right when I moved to Canada, I broke with this tradition and wrote a longish entry about my moles which I thought of as a public serive announcement to get people to go on mole patrol, because really, that is the only way to deal with recalcitrant moles.

Of course, I am on constant mole-patrol and a day before I left Puerto Rico, as my sister moved her hair away from her neck to pull it back, I noticed a funky looking mole. Now, it was not all that weird but a little weird and I was like, go go go to the dermatologist and check it out. It took a few weeks to get an appointment and then they took it out, bioposied it, and indeed, there was melanoma. Everyone was shocked because, well it is shocking news to get and if anything, I thought the mole would have abnormal cells like mind did. She thankfully was pretty calm throughout the whole process (I attribute it, in part, to the fact that she does not spend too much time on the Internet, where you can arm yourself with a lot of good, but often downright frightening information).

A few days ago, after a battery of tests, we found out that the melanoma was very small and contained and they had taken everything out. So for now, we are on the clear but it means constant mole partrol for her and I… Melanoma runs in families and as kids we also ran around on the beach so this issue is not going to go away. But I guess it is good that I had my scare in August, otherwise I would have never given her mole a second thought. I probably would not have made myself stare as I did at her hidden moles, every chance I had.

So anyway, again, go to your dermatologist and check your moles. Or at least go on mole patrol. It is well worth the hassle…

Since there are few topics about academic etiquette than get me as excited as the norms of citations, I was quite fascinated by Joseph Reagle’s blog entry on the topic, a discussion that spanned a summary of Helen Nissenbaums’ work on the subject to his own wrangling with how he should recognize others who have independently reached similar conclusions as his own.

Citations fascinate me because they are one of the few tangible inscriptions that reveal just how much of our work is indebted to others; it is “stimergic” (and if you don’t know what that is, read Joe’s entry as his moral wrangling over citations had to do with this term, his use of it and the discovery that someone else came up with it also). Despite the fact that all disciplines use them, we use them slightly distinctly. Lawyers use them in lawyerly-like ways: they cite the crap out of everything (it is kinda annoying but kinda helpful) and this makes total sense: they are covering their asses (lawyers know how to do this well), they are following the logic of their own practice as case law is quite citational, and well, law professors usually have one if not two research assistants, and this I am sure helps them in covering their citational bases.

Another big difference in practices of citations is between a conventions that includes the name of the person you are citing in the body of the text and those that stuff all that data in a footnote. I can’t stand the later convention, not only because it is a pain in the neck to have to go back to the footnote JUST to see who the heck the author is citing but I think the credit should be right there, springing off the page so that the politics of collaborative recognition are, well, very evident (and I do understand that if you are citing a buttload of folks, that sometimes it is just better to do that in footnotes and sometimes with history they are citing way to may folks to really do it effectively in the body of the text).

Joe raises some fundamentally thorny questions of who and how do we cite given that we may come up with an idea with the power of our own little brains, only to find out (gasp) that others, past and present and very unknown others, say something similar. On the whole, I tend to try to make clear, as Joe did in the example he provided, where I am totally taking the idea from someone to apply to another idea of mine and where I have an independently crafted idea and I am citing others so as to support my own position, which usually only strengthens my own argument. And what I find is that just because a cohort of folks may be working on similar topic (open souce, hackers), since we do so from our own perspectives and methods, most of the research will be “original,” though not as much as we tend to perform to our superiors. Also I sometimes find myself with an idea, which I consider as my own, but where I am so in need of a citation because it is an idea that seems at an intuitive level to be right on but it is hard to truly substantiate with the data I have (I am in that position right now and am desperate to find someone who says what I say and thus have a means to support what otherwise seems like a lofty idea…)

And in fact, one thing that bothers me about citations is that we don’t seem to take seriously that the date of publication may not just tell us when something was published but help us gauge if something can become “dated.” What I mean is that when (and I guess if) I publish my book on hackers and Debian, it will not be a reflection not of some timeless aspects of hacking but firmly based out of the time period (roughly 10 years give or take 3 or 4) that I was either researching and writing about the topic. And while you can and should cite folks who wrote stuff in the past because that stuff still matters (a lot of what Steven Levy says for example still holds water) a lot changes. And yet I can’t stand how folks then cite someone as “wrong” when in fact all that went wrong is that time does what it does best: MOVE FORWARD and social phenomenon change along with the passing of new moons. This is not as likely to happen in the hard sciences but sure as heck happens with anything in the so-called human realm (which is why it bothers me that the social sciences and humanities model our citational and journal practices so similarly to the hard sciences, when it seems there are enough differences to warrant more differences than there are but that is a whole other topic). So now I try to note where my analysis diverges because the context so radically changed and really leave critique for those things I can safely and fairly disagree with on its own terms.
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For the last number of weeks, as I have struggled with my mom on my own (her caretaker was taking a much needed vacation), I have not had much motivation or desire to post on this blog. For those who have followed my reports of my mom’s alzheimers here, it won’t come as much of a surprise that her journey has become more treacherous and precarious. Whereas in the past she had moments of relative calm, peace, and near total clarity, now there are constant waves lapping up against her frail life. Most often the waves are rough, mercilessly tossing her about wearing and tearing on her physical health and also taking me for a sad, often desolate ride that probably is still no where as rough as her own because I have the capacity to maneuver and control my motions and reactions, in a way that she cannot do on her own.

At times the waves are really large, sweeping her entirely away. Other times, the waves small and choppy, causing nagging constant discomfort, but bearably so. More rarely we have caught and ridden some waves and have experienced moments of ease…

Since I moved far to Edmonton, I had not seen my mother for over 6 months, the longest period away from her in 3 years, which is why I came and stayed for so long (a month). And unsurprisingly I landed home to find my mom’s bridge between her world and the world of my experience, in a greater state of decay. She can cross the bridge or I can meet her halfway, but I am afraid it will soon crumble entirely given the very stormy weather. For example. the first 3 days of my visit, she asked for micah, who has usually come during the time of year… (and granted, who would not want him here..?) But after explaining that he went to see his family and was not in PR, over and over again, she finally got it. One day, she asked if I were her daughter, which of course, stung hard.

Alzheimers is known as a disease of the mind but the physical symptoms are trumping many of the so-called mental ones. In fact, she still has a joyful, almost childlike streak to her that when she is not in physical discomfort comes out for a visit with just a little culling.. She loves to joke and play and loves to express her joy and, especially excitement, when she is blessed with a good and clear idea (and I have some video of her excitement following her ingenious plans for my future career and I will upload the video soon and here is a photo capturing her vivaciousness). I am sometimes amazed at this outpouring. But it is hampered and sometimes entirely vanishes by her physical discomforts.

The worst of her her physical symptoms are due to her some difficulty swallowing, which causes saliva to accumulate in her mouth and throat. For some unknown reason (and I need to talk to her doc about this week because in her case drool, however seemingly unsightly and undignified is much better than her state right now) and because there is so much saliva that she does not swallow, she starts to choke and gag. She then spends up to 2 hours spitting and heaving in the bathroom over the sink, at times crying and wishing out loud with a lot of “oy, oy, oy” a short and quick passing away.

We have tried a few drugs but none have brought an ounce of relief. This week we go back to her ears, nose, throat specialist to possibly try one more medical intervention and also get a machine that sucks the saliva out her mouth. If this bring some relief, indeed, her quality of life will dramatically improve.

Otherwise, her emotional and mental life is marked my a mix of loss, desire, and a surprising drive to rationalize. Those things she has lost, like her baby son, are still with her, and I doubt they will ever leave. She also clearly still desires a better day to day life or much harder for me to hear is that she desires to leave this world.

One thing that has become pronounced is a hyper-drive to rationalize, which measured objectively, of course, may strike as quite irrational. For example, everything is “new” (the coffee at the supermarket, the bread that she now loves to eat, the streets) and many things are “bad” (when she does not like some meal I give her, she claims it terrible, infested with saliva). Even if this perceptions are incorrect from the measure of so-called objectivity, from the vantage point of her actual experience, in which the past is non-existent or hazy, in which many experiences are new, in which a meal can be experienced as totally lousy because face it, her life is lousy, well, she is rationalizing as you and I do too. And it is a reminder that while there may be some objective layer to life, this is mediated, always, by the the vicissitudes of experience, and this will most certainly texture how we form our rationalizations. And again, I am amazed that the inclination to place some order in her chaotic world is still here and I wonder if this will go (it seems awfully strong, sometimes frustratingly so!).

I too find myself needing to rationalize react, and recalibrate to and against and with the influx of rough waves that are also my reality, my experience with her, and and this ride has been especially trying, not only because she is worse but I was her sole caretaker for over 2 weeks. It is tiring, in the fullest sense of the word, in which the body needs more sleep (I would wake up with her a night during her horrific spitting-fests), the mind is frazzled and fried by trying to process so much, and the soul gets easily drained of joy and purpose.. Given her state of being (and knowing she is in no way alone) stormy clouds seem to follow me around in an otherwise sunny and tropical place. But this is nothing new for the dark clouds gather every time I visit and they do always seem to part given a little time…

Thankfully even within the storm, there have been some pretty amazing times here with family and friends, new and old (and one who came to visit…) and I will write a little more about those things here soon.. You know, to balance things out.

I am about 2/3 over with my haul from Edmonton to San Juan, PR (laying over in the beautiful JFK) and am too tired to blog anything much of substance but do check out Furious Season’s impassioned and excellent commentary on the recent NYTimes article (and this one )that reveal how Eli Lily knowingly downplayed the risks of Zyprexa. And if you read the second article, you will find out what Viva Zyprexa means.

Here is Eli Lily’s press release, which I have included on the next page as these things tend to vanish…

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So I have had the same credit card for many many many years. About 2 years ago I realized that I was collecting points with it and that I would be able to redeem them via the Thank You Network. So I ordered various things for xmas gifts and when I went to my site for an odd visit, found out that none had been delivered because, well they don’t have them.

While being out of stock is somewhat understandable, what is not is that they did not even send an email. Nor is the information updated on the site. I have already complained but I want to add my own testimonial to their fake testimonial site:

Enid C.

Edmonton, CA

“Thank you for such unprompt service and unpersonalized attention to my Your Wish Fulfilled order. A customer service representative never contacted me, letting me know they had NOT located my products, and I was not happy to see their web site does not even reflect this! Thanks again for such a unwonderful first experience redeeming my points. I can’t wait to change my credit card”

..

Mozilla/Firefox in a lot of ways was/is the poster child of free software… I mean do you know how many times I was talking to a certain non-technologically-inclined-person who claimed to not know a thing about open source, and then after I asked what browser they were using and when they said Mozilla, I would let them in on the dirty little secret that they were, in fact, in its very bosom, cradled in and by the rhythm of freedom. And they would gleefully respond with some excited variation of “I had NO idea and I love it… those tabs, those plug ins, that speed….blah blah.” I just loved inducing that reaction.

But for me my love affair with Firefox is officially over. For many years it was a happy, fulfilling relationship but lately, the little red fox has let me down, acting way too erratic, crashing during those inopportune moments, like when opening a pdf, which would cause the whole apparatus to come crashing down, and all those lovely open tabs, with all that information, would be gone in an instant.

For the last 4 months, every time this disdainful event occurred, I would just bemoan and bitch a lot, especially on IRC. Part of me was a loyalist but a bigger part of me was just very very very lazy. With all my bookmarks, with my tool bar, with all my passwords configured JUST RIGHT, I felt enduring the crashes and loss of data was worth it. But no more (admittedly my IRC compatriots were sick of hearing me complain and pretty much demanded that I change).

So now I am going to “rediscover the web” but with Galeon. It is up and running and I have transfered a good chunk of my settings over and over the course of the next few weeks I will make the transition. So far so good though there is work to be done, to be sure, to make Galeon into my new love(ly), web browser.

Joey Hess from Debian has come up with a pretty nifty analysis of thread patterns in email. This is a great example of the geek technique to transform what seems like chaos (and can surely be experienced as such) into something more categorical, segmentable, and thus manageable.

Has outsourcing legal work been around for awhile, or did I just miss the spam in previous years?

.. Due to this technological explosion, persons residing in two parts of the globe can interact with each other easily. Before this technological explosion, only industrial establishments were able to take advantage of cheap and qualified labor force available in other parts of the globe. The widespread use of internet has made it possible for organizations engaged in service sector to hire and outsource the work to countries where qualified labor force is available at internationally competitive rate.

India is the leading destination for outsourcing. India has gained a competitive edge as an outsourcing hub for a number of reasons, including the widespread use of English and availability of large pool of professionals at internationally competitive rate. Outsourcing to India gives overseas attorneys the clear competitive advantage over other legal service firms in terms of cost, quality and turnaround time.

Most companies of Europe and America routinely outsource their back-end business process operations like data entry and handling, payroll management, accounting and book-keeping, processing of tax returns and insurance claims, ticketing, legal research coding and organizing of documents for major litigation cases, transcription (medical and legal).